Learning to produce my own music:
If I could have any superpower, I'd ask for the ability to play any instrument.
But since there is no genie in a bottle, the closest I can get to that is producing my own music. So I picked up producing earlier this year and boom... "Seeking Silence" was born in July. And surprisingly, the process was so much more enjoyable and smoother than I thought. Let me give you some backstory.
When I first decided to pursue music at the beginning of 2020, the only thing I knew how to do was write songs and sing. I didn't even personally know anyone who was seriously involved with music. At this time, I would search for beats on YouTube and write my songs on top of them. Gradually, I started meeting producers and developing my sound further. Then I discovered that I like to be very involved in the beat-making process from start to finish.
So naturally, this led me to want to learn how to produce. But I was VERY intimidated in the beginning. People spend years learning how to produce, and the DAWs looked like my math homework. So for a while, I would just watch YouTube videos on production and call it a day.
Then I got invited to attend the Music Networking Event hosted by Marilyn Hucek in May. (Thank you Marilyn!)
And someone I met there introduced me to Bandlab, so I came home and tested it out. For some reason, the interface and layout just clicked in my brain. I started learning and piecing things together. Naturally, my first couple attempts didn't sound great, but I didn't feel discouraged.
Then shortly after, I found this guitar sample that really resonated with me. So I put it on loop and started freestyling for an hour or so. That was the start of the song.
Shifting my lyrical context:
Up until "Seeking Silence", all my songs were inspired by romance.
And obviously, there is nothing wrong with this. But it was as if only a small part of who I am shined through the context of my music.
So "Seeking Silence" is a very special song because it marks the beginning of a wider perspective into who I am and my values as an individual outside of romance. This shift is hugely inspired by Madame Gandhi, with whom I had the privilege to share a stage in May this year. I opened for her at the IlluminAsia festival hosted by the Museum of Asian Arts, and her music was so honest, so raw and deeply inspired by her positive message to the world. After her set, I wanted to become a better person and better version of myself.
Seeking Silence:
With that being said, one of the messages I really wanted to highlight was how lucky I feel to be able to chase my dreams. I am the first person in my family to pursue music as a career, but I'm sure that I'm not the only one who had artistic dreams. Life and responsibilities get in the way, and many people make sacrifices.
So I wanted to make it very clear that those of us who have big goals and dreams and going after them are very lucky. I try my best to never take this opportunity for granted and to celebrate every wins along the way.
But I've also received pushback or doubt from people, some who are closest to me, about my future and my music. Sometimes it hurts, but for the most part - I understand that my vision for the future aren't for meant everyone to understand. So this message is shared through the song as well.